United States
Youth
Feeling Safe at Home: A Guide for Children in the United States
You deserve care and protection from harm. If someone at home hurts you, threatens you or leaves you without the care you need, you can tell a safe adult.
Can I Choose Which Parent to Live with in the United States?
You can tell adults what living in two homes feels like. In the United States, how a court hears children depends on the state. You are not responsible for deciding your parents’ dispute.
United States · Checked 17 September 2026
Does a birthday mean I get to choose?
There is no rule that every child in the country can choose their home at 12. A court considers the child’s needs and safety as well as their views.
Rules about being heard are not the same as a right to decide the result.
Two examples of how children are heard
- California: children aged 14 or older who want to speak to the court generally can, unless the court finds that it would not be in their best interests.
- Texas: in certain custody cases, a qualifying request requires the judge to interview a child aged 12 or older. The judge still decides the case.
What can I tell someone?
You can explain practical things: a long school journey, not sleeping well, missing someone or feeling worried at handovers. You do not need to argue one parent’s case.
A safe teacher, school counsellor or another trusted adult can help you find words and understand how your views might be heard.
If something is frightening or harmful
Tell a safe adult. Childhelp can provide support about abuse and reporting, and emergency services can help with immediate danger.
You can love both parents and still ask for help with something that is not working.
This guide explains general rules and services. It does not assess your individual case.
Official guidance and sources
Information checked on 17 September 2026.
Based on the original article by Linda Ljunggren Syding.
The app that frees up time for what's important
"The turning point came when we found the Every Other Week app. There's less fuss and both of us have a better handle on things. It feels so great!”
"Thank you so much for this app, it has finally gotten us to communicate!”
Related reading
United States
Youth
Someone to Talk to When Your Parents Separate in the United States
You may be worried, angry, relieved or not sure what you feel. If your parents are separating, you can ask someone to listen. You do not have to handle it alone.
For Children
Living in Two Homes: Help for Children Finding Their Routine
Living in two homes can feel good sometimes and difficult at other times. You might enjoy time with each parent and still hate packing. You do not have to choose one feeling, and you do not have to make the arrangement work on your own.
Youth
Here's What Researchers Say About Alternate Living
Most children do well living in two homes, research shows, though not all. What researchers say about alternate living and how to talk to your parents.
Youth
How Are You Feeling? Support for Kids When Parents Divorce
If your parents are getting divorced, it is never your fault, and things do get easier. Ideas for finding calm, a safe place of your own and a new normal.