England
Youth
Feeling Safe at Home: A Guide for Children in England
You deserve care, safety and someone who listens. If something at home feels frightening or hurts you, you can ask for help—even when the person involved is a parent.
Can I Choose Which Parent to Live with in England?
You are allowed to say how living in two homes feels. If you live in England, adults should listen to your views—but you do not have to solve your parents’ disagreement.
England · Checked 17 September 2026
Will someone listen to me?
Yes. If a court is deciding where you live, it considers what you want as well as your needs and safety. Your age and how well you understand the situation matter.
There is no rule that every child gets to choose at 12. As you get older, your views can carry more weight, but you are not responsible for the final decision.
You can talk about ordinary things
You do not need a legal reason. It is okay to explain:
- “The journey to school makes me very tired.”
- “I miss my friends when I am away.”
- “I need somewhere quiet to sleep.”
- “Something at home frightens me.”
Who can help me explain?
A teacher, school support worker or another safe adult can listen. In a court case, an adviser may talk with you about your life and explain your views to the court.
You do not have to repeat either parent’s arguments. You can love both parents and still find part of the arrangement difficult.
If you would rather talk to someone else
Childline supports children and young people. Its website explains how to contact a counsellor and what can stay private. You can ask about privacy before you explain what is happening.
This guide explains general rules and services. It does not assess your individual case.
Official guidance and sources
Information checked on 17 September 2026.
Based on the original article by Linda Ljunggren Syding.
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