Cooperation
What to Include in a Parenting Plan
A parenting plan checklist: the regular schedule, holidays, exchanges, decisions, communication, expenses, travel and how to change the plan later.
Custody Exchanges: Rules for Calmer Handovers
Every rotation comes down to the moment the child moves from one home to the other. Here is how to set the place, the time and the rules so that handovers are short, predictable, and not a stage for the adults' disagreements.
The short version
- Place: school or daycare where possible, otherwise the curb outside one home or a neutral public place.
- Time: a fixed time, a grace period, and a rule for what happens when someone is late.
- Transport: a common rule is that the parent whose time is starting picks the children up.
- Behavior: keep it short, keep the adults' business out of it, and never pass messages through the children.
Where to exchange
| Place | How it works | Good for |
|---|---|---|
| School or daycare | One parent drops off in the morning, the other picks up after school. | Tense relationships: the parents do not have to meet |
| The curb outside one home | The child walks out to the car; the other parent does not come in. | Most families, when things are calm |
| A neutral public place | A parking lot, library or café, often halfway. | Long distances, or when neither home works |
| A supervised exchange center | Staff oversee the handover. | Safety concerns, or a court order requiring supervision |
When
- A fixed time. "Sunday at 6 p.m." is better than "Sunday evening".
- A grace period. Plans often allow 15 to 30 minutes.
- Lateness. A message as soon as you know you will be late, and a rule for what happens after the grace period — for example, that the waiting parent may leave and a new time is agreed in writing.
- Missed exchanges. Keep a note of the date and what happened. If it keeps happening, try mediation, and talk to a lawyer if there is a court order.
Who drives
- The parent whose time is starting picks up — a common rule, because nobody has to hand over a child they want to keep.
- Or the parent whose time is ending drops off.
- Or you meet halfway, which suits long distances.
- If one parent moves further away, say who covers the extra travel time and cost.
What travels with the children
- School bags and homework.
- Medication, with instructions.
- A comfort object for younger children.
- Gear for activities in the next home's days.
- Documents for travel: an insurance card, a passport.
- Phones and chargers.
In the Co-parenting app, the packing list is generated fresh for each handover. You or your child tick off each item as it is packed, and your co-parent gets a notification that it is ready. Read kids' belongings in two homes.
At the handover
- Keep it short and friendly.
- Do not discuss the schedule, money or disagreements — save them for messages.
- Never send messages through the children.
- Let the children say goodbye without hurrying them.
- Do not question them about the other home afterwards.
Transitions are hard for many children, whatever the adults do. Read how to ease transitions between two homes, and, if a child does not want to go, when kids favor one parent.
When exchanges are not safe
If you are afraid at handovers, or there is a protective order, do not meet in person. Use school, a supervised exchange center, or ask your court about the options. In an emergency, call the emergency number: 911 in the United States and Canada, 999 in the UK.
Sample exchange clause
Exchanges take place at the children's school on school days, and otherwise at the curb outside the receiving parent's home at 6 p.m. The parent whose time is starting picks the children up. A parent running late will message the other as soon as they know; after 30 minutes without word, the waiting parent may leave, and the parents will agree a new time in writing. Neither parent will discuss disputes during exchanges or send messages through the children.
This is example wording only. Have a family lawyer check any clause before it goes into a plan or an order.
Exchanges in the Co-parenting app
Each handover in the calendar can carry its own time and place, set as part of a schedule proposal the other parent accepts. The packing list follows every handover, and messages show when they have been read, so "I'm running late" is seen rather than guessed at. You can also log a GPS check-in when you arrive, so there is a record of where you were and when. See the FAQ.
The rest of the plan is covered in what to include in a parenting plan.
Frequently asked questions
Where is the best place for a custody exchange?
Where the parents do not have to meet is often best: drop-off and pick-up at school or daycare. Otherwise the curb outside one home, a neutral public place, or a supervised exchange center if there are safety concerns.
Who is supposed to drive for custody exchanges?
Whoever the plan says. A common rule is that the parent whose time is starting picks the children up; meeting halfway suits long distances.
How long do you have to wait at a custody exchange?
As long as the plan says. Plans often set a grace period of 15 to 30 minutes and say what happens after it.
What should I do if my co-parent keeps missing exchanges?
Keep a dated note of each one, raise it in writing, and try mediation. If there is a court order and it keeps happening, talk to a family lawyer.
What if my child does not want to go to the other parent?
Listen to why, without blaming the other parent, and talk to them about it. If it continues, get advice from a family counselor, and if there is a court order, ask a family lawyer what it requires of you.
6 November 2026
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Related reading
Cooperation
Right of First Refusal in Custody
What a right of first refusal clause means in a parenting plan, how the time threshold and notice work, who counts as childcare, and when to leave it out.
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Cooperation
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A clear plan can reduce last-minute messages and misunderstandings. Here is what a parenting plan can cover in England, and how it differs from a court order.
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Cooperation
Making a Parenting Agreement in the United States
A written plan can reduce uncertainty about school weeks, holidays and handovers. In the United States, its legal effect depends on your state and whether the court has approved it.
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Cooperation
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A parenting plan puts the everyday arrangements in one place. For families in Canada, a useful plan explains both the weekly routine and how bigger decisions will be made.