Cooperation
How to Manage Summer Planning in a Co-parenting Family
Summer planning when you share custody: start early, agree on the holiday weeks, swap days when you need to, and balance old traditions with new ones.
When Kids Favor One Parent
Does your child favor you or your co-parent? It's common and usually nothing to worry about — but the phases when a child clings to one parent can be hard on everyone.
Why Children Have a Favorite Parent
Many children go through phases of having a favorite parent. That preference can be hard to handle, especially in a shared custody arrangement, because a child's natural leanings don't always match our expectations. For the parent who feels left out, the rejection stings. For the "favorite," it can be exhausting to be needed so intensely, and they often need extra support. It's easy to assume favoritism comes from one parent spoiling the child or being too strict, but it usually isn't about how the child is treated at all — it can simply be part of how attachment relationships develop. Keep that in mind when the rejection feels discouraging, or when a little one wants to be glued to you around the clock!
Tip! If your child is strongly attached to one parent, it may help to adjust the living schedule so the child spends a bit more time with that parent — for instance, an extra night with the favored parent during the other parent's week.
What Helps When Your Child Favors One Parent
- Acknowledge and normalize. Recognize your child's preference, treat it as normal, and avoid making big changes to the living arrangements right away. Help your child understand and adjust to the differences between their parents.
- Small gestures from the left-out parent. The parent who feels rejected can make small efforts to connect: extra cuddles with a special stuffed animal or a cozy bedtime story can soften the fixation. For older kids, one-on-one evening snacks or chats can work wonders.
- Temporary adjustments. If you do adjust the schedule to give the favored parent more time, be open to switching back once your child's preferences even out.
Remember: some children are especially attached to one parent throughout childhood, while others move through phases of neutrality or shifting favorites. What children need from their parents in these periods is attention and patience.
Malin Bergström Child psychologist, associate professor and author
27 August 2026
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