Thanksgiving Custody Schedule

When is Thanksgiving?

Many US schools close for part or all of Thanksgiving week, from two days to five. Check your district's calendar, and write the arrangement around the days school is actually out.

Five ways to split Thanksgiving

Alternate the day or the long weekend

Alternating by year is the most common arrangement, and the easiest to remember. Alternating the whole long weekend suits parents who live far apart or travel to family, because a single day is not worth the drive. The cost is a Thanksgiving without the children every other year.

Split the day

Both parents see the children every Thanksgiving. It works when the homes are close and handovers are calm; with a long drive or a tense exchange, it can take over the day.

Pair it with winter break

Trading Thanksgiving against part of winter break keeps the big holidays balanced across the year: whoever misses Thanksgiving gets the longer stretch in December.

Celebrate twice

Some families make the second Thanksgiving a tradition of its own — Friday leftovers at one home, Thursday dinner at the other. Children often enjoy two celebrations more than parents expect.

Choosing between them

• Distance. A split day needs homes close together; a long weekend suits long distances.
• Family traditions. If one side has a large gathering every year, alternating may mean the children miss it half the time. Celebrating twice can keep both.
• The children's ages. Long car rides and two big meals in a day are hard on small children.
• Fairness over two years, not one. Whatever you choose, judge it across a pair of years and alongside the rest of the holiday schedule.

If you are deciding for this year

With the holiday close, the most useful thing is to put whatever you agree in writing now: the start and end times, where the exchange happens, and who drives. If your plan already says how holidays work, follow it. If it says nothing, a one-off agreement for this year — "you this year, me next year" — written down, beats an argument in Thanksgiving week. If there is a court order, follow it; if you both want to do something different, agree in writing and check with your lawyer.

Making the day easier for the children

• Tell them the plan early, so they are not guessing.
• Do not ask them to choose between homes.
• Keep the exchange short and friendly.
• Let them call the other parent during the day.

Putting it in the Co-parenting app

Public holidays are filled in for where you live, and you can import your child's actual school holidays — the dates the school has published — for almost every school across North America, the EU and Australia. See how to import a school calendar, then check the dates it finds against the school's own information.

The Thanksgiving arrangement goes into the schedule as a proposal: change the days directly, or apply a template between two dates — a different rotation for the summer, for example. Nothing changes until the other parent accepts it, and once the schedule is active, every change is a request the other parent has to accept. The FAQ has more on schedules and change requests.

Related guides

• Holiday custody schedule: the four ways to split holidays, with an even/odd-year example
• Christmas and winter break: splitting Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and halving the break
• Spring break and summer: summer rotations, vacation weeks and notice deadlines
• Birthdays, Mother's Day and Father's Day: the days that do not fit a rotation
• What to include in a parenting plan: the full checklist

Frequently asked questions