Separation
Checklist: Separating With Children
Separating with children? A checklist of what to sort out first: where everyone lives, the schedule, handovers, money, sick days, and what to tell the kids.
When Divorce Affects Your Child's Schoolwork
A separation at home can make it hard for a child to concentrate and learn at school — and slipping schoolwork often adds stress and a sense of failure. As a parent, you can help your child reach their goals and rebuild their security and self-confidence.
Why Children Act Out at School
Thoughts about the divorce and the other changes the family is going through can make it hard for a child to focus on schoolwork. Keeping busy can be a way to protect themselves from negative feelings and thoughts.
But thoughts about the divorce can also surface suddenly in the middle of a math lesson, and to escape them a child may be tempted to distract a friend — or the whole class. Anxiety turns into restlessness, and restlessness makes it hard to sit still. Falling behind at school then makes life even harder, so instead of scolding, the child needs more adult support and care.
How You Can Help
Parents and other important adults can help with missed homework or anything else at home. Bring extra patience, and be prepared for homework to take more time than usual right now. A good way forward is to set small goals for schoolwork and take short breaks between tasks. Children need to succeed and feel satisfied with their efforts — so hold back on criticism.
Helping with the logistics around homework, tests, and school supplies also makes a difference.
Seek Help From the School
The school nurse or counselor can offer support if your child wants someone to talk to. Closer contact between parents and teachers can also help.
Good Co-parenting Protects Your Child
Strive for good cooperation between you as parents when it comes to your child. It is comforting for children to know that both parents are looking out for them and can work together, even though they are no longer a couple.
Summary
- Anxiety and stress can affect a child's ability to learn and focus at school.
- Bring extra patience, and help with homework and school logistics.
- Children need to feel they're succeeding when they put in effort. Help your child make a realistic plan!
- Ask the school for help if needed.
- A good co-parenting relationship around your child means a lot — it shows them both parents are still a team.
Malin Bergström Child psychologist, associate professor and author
27 August 2026
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