Shared Finances in the Blended Family

There Is No Right or Wrong

Let me start by saying there is no right or wrong here. It's common to keep your finances separate at first, and then, after a while, a joint household budget may feel more natural in your bonus family. You'll need to try things out and see what works for you.

Splitting Housing and Food Costs

In most blended families, the parents have different numbers of children, often of different ages. If your incomes also differ a lot, one of you may have plenty left over each month while the other struggles to make ends meet. Find a split that works for both of you and doesn't disadvantage the children — a budget for your shared expenses helps you keep track. If you have roughly the same number of children at about the same ages, it can be wise to divide food and housing costs in proportion to what each of you earns.

Weekly or Monthly Allowance

I think children of the same age should get the same allowance per week or month. That way you avoid comparisons and competition that can create unnecessary conflict between the children.

Travel and Extracurricular Activities

Here you can use the same split as for food and housing, as long as the whole family takes part. Another option is to share the cost between the adults and then each pay for "your own." Still, my advice is not to count every single krona or activity — think bigger picture. It may be worth splitting costs more evenly so the whole family can go on that planned trip together. And perhaps it feels fair to the children even though their activities cost different amounts. It probably evens out in the long run.

Presents and Gifts

We all have different standards for how much to spend and how many presents to give our children. On top of that, birthdays and Christmas often involve more adults — your co-parent, the children's grandparents. The most important thing is to talk to each other and find a solution that works for everyone.

Finally: Talk About Money Together

Talk about your shared finances with your partner — and address the issues today. It's a good investment in your family and your relationships.

Summary: Shared Finances in a Blended Family

• There is no right or wrong — try things out and see what works for you. After some time together, shared finances may feel most natural in your bonus family.
• Find a split that feels fair to everyone.
• It helps if bonus children of the same age get the same weekly or monthly allowance.
• Don't count pennies on travel and activities. Try to divide costs as evenly as possible for things you do together.
• For presents and Christmas gifts: talk to each other, and you'll most likely find a solution that works for everyone.