If arrangements for your child cannot be agreed, the Family Court can decide where they live, who they spend time with or a specific question such as schooling. Here is what usually happens in England, and what you can prepare at each stage.
England · Checked 17 September 2026
The first meeting is called a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, or MIAM. A mediator explains options and assesses whether mediation is suitable. Attending does not mean agreeing to the other parent’s proposal.
There are exemptions, including certain cases involving domestic abuse, risk of harm or urgency. The application guidance explains the evidence needed. You can apply after your own MIAM even if the other parent does not attend.
If an order already exists, the issue may be changing or enforcing it. Use the route that fits the existing case rather than assuming you need to start again.
You can apply online or using form C100. Gather the child’s details, relevant existing orders, what remains disputed and your proposed arrangement. Explain any safety concern in the appropriate part of the application.
Check the current application fee and help with fees before submitting. Help with a court fee and help paying a lawyer are separate questions. Keep a copy and follow the court’s instructions about what happens next.
Cafcass means the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service. Its advisers help the court understand children’s needs and safety. An adviser will usually contact you before the hearing. They do not represent either parent.
At an early hearing, the judge or magistrates look at agreement, disputed questions and risk. Some cases can end with an agreed order. Others need further information or a temporary arrangement, called an interim order. Procedures and the order of steps can vary between courts and cases.
Directions are instructions about what each person must do and by when. The court may request statements, ask Cafcass for a report or decide that disputed allegations need a separate hearing. A report can include the child’s wishes and feelings.
Keep one list of deadlines and documents. If you do not understand an instruction or cannot meet a deadline, contact the court or your adviser promptly; do not ignore it. Avoid assuming the first hearing will settle everything.
An agreement may be approved during the process. If issues remain, the court makes a decision after considering the necessary information. Check times, handovers, conditions and any further steps in the order.
A later change in circumstances may require a change to the order. Failure to follow an order may require enforcement. Those are separate processes; keep the order available when seeking help.
You can represent yourself. The official application page links to services including Support Through Court and AdviceNow, which explain procedure and preparation. If there is abuse or urgent risk, make that clear when asking about legal aid and safe participation in proceedings.
This guide explains general rules and services. It does not assess your individual case.
Information checked on 17 September 2026.
Based on the original article by Elisabeth Scholander.
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England
Law
After separation, you may still share responsibility for important decisions about your child. In England, this is called parental responsibility. It is separate from how many nights your child spends in each home.
England
Law
A child arrangements plan explains where your child lives, when they spend time with each parent and how everyday care works. In England, parents can make their own agreement when it is safe to do so. If agreement is not possible, the Family Court can decide.
England
Law
When a court decides arrangements for a child in England, the child’s welfare comes first. That means looking at the child’s actual needs and safety, not simply choosing an equal timetable or deciding which parent has the stronger grievance.
Research
Psychologist Maria Farm and journalist Lisa Bjärbo wrote a Swedish-language book about everyday life after separation. In this interview, they explain why they wanted to discuss the questions that keep returning as children grow, from money to routines and new family relationships.
For Children
Living in two homes can feel good sometimes and difficult at other times. You might enjoy time with each parent and still hate packing. You do not have to choose one feeling, and you do not have to make the arrangement work on your own.
Research
The Swedish term växelvis boende describes a child living alternately in each parent’s home. One useful idea in the original discussion by child psychologist Malin Bergström is to look beyond visits: what ordinary care and relationships does the child need to keep?
