How to Tell Others About Your Separation

How Should We Communicate?

Consider sending an email to the people you want to inform. Writing it down lets you choose your words carefully, so both of you feel comfortable with the message.

Telling Your Child's School

Email the responsible teacher to let them know that you, the parents, are separating. Explain what it means for your child in practice: the living arrangements and the time spent with each parent (a schedule with days and times). Keep the email short and stick to the essential facts. If your child has particular needs right now, mention them briefly.

Include both of your phone numbers and email addresses so the school can reach either of you with questions or concerns.

In Sweden, joint custodians normally share responsibility for important matters concerning the child. Each parent can discuss with the school how to receive the information they are entitled to, including access to any school platform. SchoolSoft is one Swedish example. Access depends on applicable education and confidentiality rules, the child’s age and maturity and any protection needs; a school login is not an unlimited right to every record.

Informing Family, Friends, and Others Around Your Child

How much you share, and with whom, is of course up to each of you. Still, it can help to agree on a common message for your wider circle. That sets the tone for how others treat both you and your children going forward, and it gives your kids important support.

Explain what daily life will look like for your children and for you, and make clear that you, as their parents, have a plan. Ideally you do this together — but if that's not possible, do it on your own.

If needed, be clear that you won't tolerate negative talk about the other parent, especially in front of your child. When you need to vent, choose someone you trust not to pass it on.

Note: Prepare the emails to everyone you need to inform, but talk to your child first — before anything goes out to others.