Summer planning in co-parenting families can be a complicated affair, so it's important to start early. It's also helpful to be mindful of your own needs during the summer while compromising and working together to ensure everyone gets what they need. That way, both children and parents can relax and enjoy the break.
Before we dive into the practical tips, it’s important to focus on what matters most in the planning — the kids.
For children, it’s incredibly reassuring to know that their parents have discussed and agreed on a summer plan that works for everyone. It takes the pressure off the kids, while also reassuring them that their parents are doing well, even when they’re with the other parent. Ultimately, it’s about creating a sense of security and stability for the children, which is essential for their well-being.
It's important to start planning for the summer early. This gives everyone the chance to discuss, plan for their own needs, and follow up in a thoughtful way. It creates predictability and security when everyone has the opportunity to contribute to the planning, communicate daycare or camp schedules, and involve the extended family in a smooth way.
Flexibility and the ability to compromise are the holy grail of planning.
If your co-parent needs an extra day because family is coming into town, try to accommodate and swap days. This way, your child can spend time with their family. Plus, there will likely be times when you'll need to swap days as well. After all, summer break is long when kids are in school.
Aside from everyone else’s needs (which can be so easy to put before your own), it’s important to think about what’s important for you this summer. What kind of summer would you like to have? A mix of city and countryside, time alone with the kids, or a big family gathering? Maybe a getaway with friends? Is there something specific you need this summer for recovery or relaxation? Make sure there’s room for that. Balance is key.
Be prepared that you and the kids may be able to keep some summer traditions, but maybe not all of them, especially if you're newly separated or if the kids are growing older and developing different interests. Think about what’s important from the old traditions and what you’d like to try this summer that could become a regular feature in the years to come. Talk to the kids – they often have unexpected and fun ideas.
If there are conflicts over the same days, times, or activities, be sure to flag them early.
A helpful tip for resolving these issues could be to create a rotation schedule, where one of you has Midsummer this year, and the other takes it next year. Or prioritize this year’s holidays and breaks and see if you can agree that the parent who always has Midsummer week, for example, won’t have the fall break. Or come up with another arrangement that feels like a fair solution.
The easiest way to plan effectively and stay organized is by using a co-parenting app like the Shared Custody app. By being in the app, you're showing that you're putting the children first. Plus, it brings all the benefits of having the kids' information and schedules in one place. This gives you the best foundation for excellent planning when the focus is on the kids and nothing else.
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