Children's Belongings in Two Homes

Checklist for Keeping Track of Your Child's Things

Here is a checklist to help you sort out the practical side:

• Agree on what the child needs and what should be kept in each home. Go through what's coming up in spring, summer, and fall/winter. Document it in the app by creating a chat thread called something like "Kids' stuff". Show the child the plan and check that it feels right to them and that they want to be part of it. Help your child install the Co-parenting app on their phone so they can take part, make decisions, and take on responsibility appropriate for their age.
• Decide what travels back and forth between homes. Use the packing list in the app: at every transition, your child — with a parent's help if needed — can check that everything is packed, in both directions.
• Do you keep forgetting the same item at every handover? See if you can buy a double set, so your child never has to go without their football shoes. Plan ahead and buy secondhand to save money.
• When your child is heading to their other home, help them pack (depending on their age) and double-check against the app that everything is in the bag. This helps them build routines and stay on top of their things.
• If something goes wrong, stay patient and help your child solve it quickly and smoothly. Help them call the other parent to ask where the item is, and pick it up yourself if you can. Don't blame the child!
• Don't scold, and never speak badly of your co-parent. Whatever the reason an item is missing, badmouthing makes children feel bad — avoid it.
• Remember: your child's belongings are their own — not either parent's, even if a parent paid for them. Stopping a child from using clothes or items because they came from the other parent is unacceptable in most cases and should be avoided.
• Praise your child, your co-parent, and yourself when it all works out. Great job!