Separation
Checklist: Separating With Children
Separating with children? A checklist of what to sort out first: where everyone lives, the schedule, handovers, money, sick days, and what to tell the kids.
Give Your Child Hope!
When life is at its toughest, our children need us to gather ourselves and give them hope. Conveying hope shows them that we're taking responsibility — and that they are not alone.
Finding a Way Forward After a Divorce
As parents, we need to find a way through the crisis a divorce can bring. We must allow ourselves to process our grief so it doesn't remain an unhealed wound inside us. At the same time, we need to stay strong enough to handle our parenting duties and everything practical that comes with a separation. Our space to grieve is not infinite, because as parents we have a vital life task — one that cannot be put on hold. We need to give our children hope that things will get better.
Focusing on the Children
It's fascinating how most of us manage this balancing act. As a child psychologist, I've met parents who, amid the debris of infidelity, threats, and betrayal, still come together to agree on how to take care of their children. Many say it's the children who keep them going — their needs awaken our drive to survive. In psychological terms this is called resilience: the ability to endure in difficult situations. For our children's sake, we get up in the morning and make dinner in the evening. For their sake, we fight to find hope within ourselves. It's crucial that we convey that hope, showing our children we can overcome difficulties together. They need to feel that we, as parents, can see how they are doing and care about their well-being.
Summary – Give Your Child Hope!
- Often, our children are what keep us going through the crisis of a separation.
- They need to feel that we, as parents, are still there for them and can see how they are doing.
- By showing our children a way forward, we help them build resilience for difficult situations.
- Think about how you show care in your family — there may be other ways that you and your child find comforting.
Malin Bergström Child psychologist, associate professor and author
27 August 2026
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