As a child, you have the right to share your thoughts, and adults need to listen and understand why you feel the way you do. When decisions are made about things that affect you, your opinion should be taken into account (if you choose to share it), even if it doesn't always mean things will go exactly the way you want. Below, you can learn more about how decisions regarding your living situation should be handled and the responsibilities that adults have.
As a child, you have a legal right to express how you feel and what you want. Your parents must listen to your thoughts and consider your opinions when deciding what happens to you when they live in different places. If you don’t want to or feel unable to express how you want to live, that’s completely okay too. You don’t have to say a word if you’re not comfortable doing so.
Your parents are responsible for making sure you’re as happy and healthy as possible. This includes making sure you don’t have to choose between your parents. They should also help you have the best possible relationship with both of them (assuming both parents are kind and capable of taking care of you).
You have the right to spend time with and love both of your parents, even if they choose to live in different places. Parents shouldn’t speak badly about each other—negative talk can hurt kids, and you shouldn’t have to listen to it. If it happens, try to be brave and speak up, or talk to another adult who can help.
Parents don’t have the right to spend equal time with you just because they want to. What’s best for you is what matters most when parents decide where you’ll live, which school you’ll attend, and how often you’ll see the parent you don’t live with.
Sometimes adults say that kids have to be 12 years old to decide where they want to live, but that’s not entirely true. You always have the right to share your opinion about where you’d prefer to live. The law doesn’t set a specific age when kids can make this decision on their own, but from the age of 12, your opinion is given more weight. Parents may have different views, and some let their children decide before they turn 12, while others may wait until their children are 15 or older. However, all parents are required to make decisions that ensure you are as happy and healthy as possible and that you get to spend time with both of your parents.
The child's best interest must be paramount in all matters of custody, living arrangements, and visitation. When determining what is best for the child, special consideration must be given to:
The risk that the child or another family member may be subjected to abuse, abducted, unlawfully retained, or otherwise harmed, and, the child's need for close and positive relationships with both parents.
The child should receive information and be given the opportunity to express their views on matters related to custody, living arrangements, and visitation.
The child's opinions should be given weight according to their age and maturity.
A child who does not live with both parents has the right to see both of them regularly.
The child has the right to express their views in all matters affecting them. When courts and authorities handle cases involving the child, the child should be heard, and their best interests should be the priority. The child’s right to freedom of thought, conscience, and religion must be respected.
Linda Ljunggren Syding, Family Law Attorney & CEO Coparenting
8 August 2024
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