Can I Decide Where I Want to Live?

What Can You Decide?

As a child, you have a legal right to say how you feel and what you want. Your parents must listen to your thoughts and consider your opinion when they decide what happens to you now that they live in different places. And if you don't want to say how you'd like to live, or don't feel able to, that's completely okay too. You don't have to say a word if you're not comfortable doing so.

Your parents are responsible for making sure you're as happy and healthy as possible. That includes making sure you never have to choose between them. They should also help you have the best possible relationship with both of them (as long as both parents are kind and able to take care of you).

You have the right to spend time with and love both of your parents, even though they live in different places. Parents shouldn't speak badly about each other — negative talk can hurt kids, and you shouldn't have to listen to it. If it happens, try to be brave and speak up, or talk to another adult who can help.

Parents don't have the right to equal time with you just because they want it. What's best for you is what matters most when parents decide where you'll live, which school you'll go to, and how often you'll see the parent you don't live with.

When Can I Decide Where I Want to Live?

Sometimes adults say kids have to be 12 years old to decide where they want to live, but that's not quite true. You always have the right to share your opinion about where you'd prefer to live. The law doesn't set an age when kids get to decide on their own — but from about age 12, your opinion carries more weight. Parents see this differently: some let their children decide before they turn 12, while others wait until their children are 15 or older. Whatever they think, all parents must make decisions that keep you as happy and healthy as possible and let you spend time with both of them.

Your Rights Under the Law

Föräldrabalken (the Swedish Parental Code), Section 2a

The child's best interests must come first in all decisions about custody, living arrangements, and visitation. When deciding what is best for the child, special attention must be paid to:

• the risk that the child or another family member could be abused, abducted, unlawfully kept, or otherwise harmed, and
• the child's need for a close and positive relationship with both parents.

Section 2b

The child must receive information and be given the chance to express their views in matters of custody, living arrangements, and visitation. The child's views are given weight according to their age and maturity.

Convention on the Rights of the Child, Article 9

A child who doesn't live with both parents has the right to see both of them regularly.

Articles 12–15

The child has the right to express their views in everything that affects them. When courts and authorities handle cases involving the child, the child should be heard, and their best interests should come first. The child's freedom of thought, conscience, and religion must be respected.